Better than sex

I've come to terms with the fact that I am obsessed with music. All of it, every kind. Although there are 3 or 4 bands that are in constant competition with eachother in my heart. They are as follows: Nine Inch Nails, Pantera, Tool, Type O Negative. Honestly they all measure up to me as completely mind blowing and soul seducing.
There were a couple of phases in life I went through that were dark and cold and empty. Not so much who I was or where I was or anything around me, But more or less like a complete feeling of total loss. Like I had lost myself and my will to give a shit. When you get older, you start to find yourself becoming more of a cynic, throwing around phrases like "Been there, done that" or "What happened to the good old days?". You look around at your following generation like they are these clueless little lemmings that only have the bread crumbs of your generation to follow. You always take yourself more serious as a kid, but the emotions you feel THEN will always stay real with you.
Back to my black hole of despair. Well, how can I put it? Nine Inch Nails is like that good pain you feel when you bite your lip or scratch an itch really hard. Trent Reznor finds his way into the part of your brain and soul that you have been taught to ignore and massages it. He talks about things that are so deep you could feel it in your toes. PURE regret and bitterness, hate and self loathing, loneliness and fear. NOT emotions I recommend people to feel on a constant basis, but in the grand scheme of things you are bound to come across them at SOME point in the spectrum of human emotion, and I find it is best to come face to face with them. ANYWAY he also writes about being drunk with love and pretty much an endless list of nuances in life. This is the type of music I listen to when I need that feeling of justice, justice for all my scary wretched feelings, and when Trent articulates raw feeling, stripped down with nothin to hide, it is better than sex.
Pantera is a whole other ball game. JUST as godlike they convey a much different emotion to me. More of a rise above and just balls to the wall live life vibe. When Dimebag wrote a solo, it was like I knew what he was trying to say. Like his notes spoke words... not even words but complete stories, gripping your heart. Same as Phil, the grit and waver in his soulful voice to the graphic depictions of his world were so awakening, like someone throwing cold water in your face, or a fistful of metal haha had to add that metalhead joke in there somewhere.
As for Tool and Type O Negative well... I'm gonna save that for another blog. There's just too much to say about music. It's the most infinite thing and can be anything you want it to be. I moved on from highschool and emotional teenage battles, but the music I listened to then is like a stamp on my heart. Almost like a reminder how to feel... incase I ever forget.